Welcome to single dads raising kids.
Welcome to single dads rising kids. This is about contributions of what works, what does not work, what are the father’s direct personal experiences and challenges. I ask that posting be in first person and about your own experience, not ‘ideas about’ or ‘social comments’. The intention of this blog is not just for men but for their children, just as any great father would want and understand. To support men in being better fathers and women in understanding the challenges that men face.
For example: (acceptable posting)“It is frustrating as a single parent when women act like I am being a ‘good boy’ to take kids for a while. I am it, mom left, I did my part to destroy the relationship AND she left her kids with not effort to stay in contact till years later. I did not even want kids when it was first brought up but the moment I held my baby daughter in my arms something changed at the core of me; I was a father and needed to get my stuff in order! I would enjoy hearing from other single fathers about how they deal with things.”
VS (unacceptable posting): “Today’s society does not recognize that men can be single dads and care just as deeply about their kids and mom’s. Also, all mom’s don’t have the same ‘maternal’ drive as we all think.
Notice the difference from the two posting. It is not about ‘taking full responsibility’ or having it ‘worded just right’ or ‘being politically correct’. It is about being real with your own experience for other men and women to read.
It this a posting for just men? To start but I am open to suggestions if it is clear it will add something to families and children’s.
Be well and thank you for your contribution.
Martin Brossman
Founder of The Men’s & Women’s Inquiry
Men’s: http://www.themensinquiry.com/ and Women’s http://www.thewomensinquiry.com/
Professional Success Coach by profession: http://www.coachingsupport.com/
And married to the beautiful gift, Barbara Carr Brossman: http://www.naturesface.net/
posted by Martin Brossman @ 9:44 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Hi, This is so interesting that just today I posted my first blog and I came up with the same title, Except I wrote "Single Mothers....." anyway its nice to know that i'm not the only one looking for answers, and there's many people out there that are also going through what I am....
If I do happen to get hold of some tips for Single fathers I'll be sure to post it here....
Good Luck!
Great finally a place for dads. my son his trying to raise two girls 7&4 alone with grandparents help. 'Mommy' is trying to find herself
At age 21, I was given the most amazing gift and the toughest choice in my life, my son was born. Many times a father is in a better financial position to care for their child. A father has the same if not more resources to access for their children’s benefit. A father will care for their child as well as the mother and advocate for fair visitation for both parties. Most importantly, a father is emotionally able to care for his child.
It was two months before I was able to see my son after he was born. This was accomplished because my attorney diligently negotiated with her attorney a working visitation schedule that was deemed fair to all parties.
First visitation, I went to my ex’s mother’s trailer and knocked. The neighbor came out and said they were not home. I sat in my car and called my attorney. The exhaustion I felt was paralyzing, my parents told me it was grief. I wanted my son. I needed my son to know me and love me. I had no more fight left in me, but I wouldn’t give up. I didn’t care about the past, at all costs we all had to find a way to raise this little boy to his best potential.
But there is still great prejudice in understanding that the majority of fathers have no hidden agenda in wanting joint custody or full custody of their children. This needs to change and quickly. Colorado judges strive for shared custody solutions rather than traditional joint custody. Shared custody involves both parents sharing equal time and financial responsibility for the child. In shared custody, the parent who makes more money will be required to make payments to the other parent. It is not official child support, as both parents are splitting the cost of child rearing (Marisson).
After the contempt of court hearing, based on my ex’s refusal to allow me to see my son, it was understood that the magistrate meant business when she set a visitation schedule. She also took into account the family dynamics of both parties and issued final orders. Suffice to say, Being the more financially and emotionally stable parent, as well as my stating that I was interested in my son’s future and not my past, the magistrate agreed to my proposals. There have been a couple of hiccups where my ex has attempted to keep him, but I have kept my cool and negotiated with her to keep the situation settled.
In conclusion, I want to see activism concerning father’s with proven track records of responsible behavior, considered on the same measuring scale as mother’s with proven track records. There needs to be more tax payer’s dollars given to social services so they can monitor and teach young parents how to come together and raise the child while raising their awareness to potential benefits of co-parenting. There must be more mediation in the courts concerning the parents and child’s needs for all situations so father’s don’t have to wait months for a hearing to see their children. We have slowly made great changes and more changes need to made. Places like aboutthechildren.org focus on mediation so the emotions of the relationship don’t interfere with the child’s needs and issues. ("aboutthechildren.org")
Last Sunday my son and I finished a castle project for his Medieval festival at school. As he walked up to his mother’s and stepfather’s home to show them his creation he had spent five hours working on, he couldn’t contain his pride in his work. I couldn’t contain my pride in him.
I wanted to share this with single fathers. It started as an oped piece for school and it has grown. Let me know what you think.
I see that this blog is dedicated to children and raising kids. Just would like to ask opinions of experts what they think about such educational game as Kinder Hangman http://sharkfuel.com/kinderhangman.html Is this game really so helpful for developing kids? I am a mother myself, so just would like to know if this game can help me prepare my children for school.
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